If you speak more than one language and have children, you’ve probably received plenty of advice and warnings about raising bilingual kids. And usually, it’s the least knowledgeable people who feel most entitled to give that (very unsolicited) advice.
Here are just a few examples:
Here are just a few examples:
If you speak your language at home, you’ll confuse your child
You must wait until your child speaks the first language well before introducing the second
It’s enough to “just speak your language” to them
Each parent must speak only their own language
And I’m sure you’ve heard it all! Spoiler: none of these beliefs has any scientific basis.
The most unfortunate part is that these ideas sometimes come from professionals we trust — doctors, teachers, educators — who may be experts in their own field but are not specialists in bilingual child development.
Let’s break down these myths one by one, using what science tells us — along with insights from working directly with many multilingual families.
What science says about raising a bilingual family
Is it true that bilingualism slows down language development?
First of all, even among monolingual children, there are significant differences in how and when language develops.
Scientific data show that bilingual children may start speaking slightly later, but they quickly catch up in both languages.
In the past, people counted only the words a child knew in one language and concluded that bilingual children were “behind.” But this kind of analysis makes no sense: today, speech therapists count all the words a child uses — in every language spoken at home.
For example, gatto, cat, and Katze are all part of the child’s total vocabulary.
Le valutazioni fatte in questo modo nell’ambito di un gran numero di studi dimostrano che crescere con più lingue non rallenta affatto lo sviluppo cognitivo e più in generale confermano quanto segue:
Evaluations carried out in this way across large numbers of studies demonstrate that growing up with more than one language does not slow cognitive development in any way.
On the contrary, numerous benefits of bilingualism are well documented, enriching a child’s mind, culture, and relationships.
In short, a bilingual child goes through slower and faster phases (just like monolingual children), but they manage multiple languages without confusion. And that brings us to the next myth.
Do children get confused when exposed to more than one language?
The answer is NO. From the prenatal period onward, babies are already able to distinguish between the sounds of the language spoken by their mother and the sounds of another language. The ability to learn one or more languages is innate.
Children who grow up in an environment where several languages are spoken simultaneously do not struggle — they acquire them naturally and without confusion. For them, people who speak different languages have different characteristics, such as distinct voices, gestures, or facial expressions.
According to some estimates, more than half of the world’s population actively uses at least two languages in daily life. Think of countries like Switzerland, where in many cantons it’s completely normal to speak French, German, and Italian every day — both at home and outside the home. The same is true in Belgium, Spain, and even in parts of Italy such as Valle d’Aosta and Alto Adige.
Outside Europe, this is even more common. In many countries in Asia, Africa, North and South America, and Australia, native languages have been spoken alongside the languages introduced through colonization for centuries.
Speaking three, four, or even five languages is not unusual.
For billions of people, using multiple languages every day is simply normal, and none of these people grew up confused.
A bilingual child is not a confused child — A bilingual child is a very lucky child!
Should we wait until our child speaks their first language well before introducing the second?
Once again, the answer is NO. It’s ideal to expose children to a second language as early as possible, because in early childhood their ability to acquire languages is at its highest.
Waiting risks turning natural language acquisition into “study,” making the process less spontaneous and more tiring.
Start now, with small steps: nursery rhymes, songs, playtime moments, or reading together in the second language.
If you’re not sure how to structure language exposure in your family, explore my personalized coaching for multilingual families.
So, is it enough to simply speak two languages to a child for them to become bilingual?
Exposing a child to two languages is essential — but it’s not enough on its own.
Children need balanced linguistic input, with adequate quality and variety. The parent who speaks the minority language plays a crucial role: they must create opportunities that motivate the child to interact in that language.
If the child receives more input in the local language — the one spoken at preschool, at the park, and at the supermarket — that language can easily become dominant and the child’s preferred language.
The key is to balance this by bringing the minority language into playtime, reading, and everyday activities.
This is exactly one of the pillars of the LingFLoWS® method, which helps families find their own linguistic balance.
If you’re trying but struggling to stay consistent, contact me for a free discovery session.
Together, we can create a sustainable strategy for your multilingual family.
Is the “one person, one language” method the only way to raise a bilingual child?
There isn’t a single recipe that works for all families, but the OPOL method (One Person, One Language) is one approach that can work very well. Each parent speaks only their own language with the child. If the family context allows for it — and both parents feel comfortable with this arrangement — it’s an excellent method that can definitely lead to the desired results.
But what if the OPOL method doesn’t work for my family?
If you’re the only person in the family passing on the minority language — and you also speak the local language very well — the OPOL method might actually make things harder for you. Your child knows perfectly well that you understand both languages, and they may feel that speaking your language is being “forced.” But you don’t need to use the same language always or 100% of the time. You can choose dedicated moments — for example, evening reading time or weekend playtime — to use the minority language in a natural, enjoyable way.
Not sure where to start? Book a free session with me and discover which approach might work best for your family.